I am wondering if there is something wrong with me? I am dating a man who I have great chemistry with but I do not think he is terribly attractive. When I have introduced him to my friends, I find myself hoping they will tell me that he is good looking. Is this shallow?

Dear Vajela,

Many women find themselves drawn to men they have chemistry with but who are not the traditional good looking "type." This is good news. Having good chemistry is the hard part and you have that- so be thankful! If you have great chemistry with him, you are likely to grow more and more attracted to him as you get to know him.

I am about to propose to my girlfriend. I have not yet bought the engagement ring. Should I find out what style of ring my girlfriend would like to have before I buy it?

Stephen,

Since she will be wearing the ring for a lifetime, I highly advise it. Does she know you are proposing? If so, then looking at rings together will not be a problem. However, if you want to keep it a surprise, I suggest you try to find out in subtle ways. For instance, pay attention when she admires someone else's engagement ring. Notice if she make any comments such as" that is exactly the style I would like! or I do not like the princess cut look" While at the mall, casually stroll into a jewelry store together and see what styles her eyes gravitate towards. Ask her what friends rings she admires and why. Notice what jewelry advertisements she pays attention to. Also, and this is a big one, find out what metal she like- is she a gold girl, white gold or platinum.


Good luck!

I live in Sacramento and have wanted to write movies since I was a kid. Recently, I optioned my first screenplay to a production company in Los Angeles. It's not a lot of money but it's a start and it's gotten me an agent at William Morris. I want to move down there and see if I can make a go of it, maybe give it a year.

Here's the problem: My fiance has a good job in advertising in Central Valley. She likes her job and she really hates Hollywood, even though she's never been there! She says if I move down there to see if I can make a career of this, she's over. She doesn't want to do the long distance relationship for a year and see if I can make enough money to bring her down there full time. Because she doesn't want to move there. She also thinks that as a big Hollywood writer, I'll have my pick of actresses and won't be faithful to her. This is ridiculous, as I love her very much. Our wedding is scheduled for early November in Big Sur! The invitations are out and RSVP'd.

I love her very much but what do I do? Do I go through with the wedding, and then move down there anyway and hope she'll understand? Or do I cancel the wedding now? I could be back in Sacramento in six months. This is my dream. But so is marrying Cindy. Help, what do I do? (And what's the etiquette about returning wedding gifts that we're already being sent?)


Dear Don,

This is a tough problem. But I think it has a simple solution. If writing scripts is what you really want in life, you have to go for it. You are lucky that your writing has been recognized by one of the top agencies. You will not be happy in your relationship if you feel like you have put aside your passion.

Can you compromise so you get the job and the woman of your dreams?

As a writer, can't you come to LA for meetings and for networking and then return to Sacramento to write? Do you actually have to live in LA full time for a year?

If you came in shifts, this approach is slower and less dramatic for your fiance'. I can understand that she is probably panicking that her future husband is moving away from her at a time when most couple's get closer both emotionally and physically.

If you want to have it all, I would get creative. Fly down to LA for meetings and make the rounds for a few days at a time and then head back up to Sacramento. Take your girlfriend down to LA and plan out a fabulous week for her. Most people are surprised, when taken to the right places, how nice Los Angeles actually is.

And about the gifts. If you DO call the wedding off, you should return the gifts. But I have a feeling you can work this one out.

Good luck and let us know what happens!

I am getting ready to plan a destination wedding. I have heard that many people tell their traveling guests not to give them presents. That they should not feel they need to give a present because they are making the generous effort to come and are spending a lot of money doing it. What do you think?

You have heard correctly. Many people have added little notes on their invitations or wedding websites that say, "Please no gifts, your presence is enough" or "Your presence is our Present."

This kind of behavior is gracious and refreshing.

In average destination wedding is going to cost a guest with a date anywhere from $1,000 to $5,000 when you account for flights, rental cars, gas, hotels, food, time off and other travel expenses. Buying a present on top of that sometimes pushes people's bank account and their sanity to the limit.

Anna Sepotine from New York says that she would be mortified if her guests (especially her younger friends or older, retired relatives) felt the stress to spend even more on her for her wedding. She says " We knew we were asking people to make a lot of sacrifices to come to Puerto Rico for our wedding. We did not want people to feel the additional burden of buying gifts for showers and our wedding. So we told them to please skip the gifts. Their presence meant more than any gravy dish or sheet set."

Paula Suren from New Jersey added, "A close friend had a destination wedding recently. She told everyone that was coming that their "presence was her present." I can't tell you how relieved and relaxed it made our friends feel. We are all young and had to save to get to her wedding. Instead of complaining behind her back about the inconvenience and expense of a destination wedding, we were relaxed and totally excited for her big day!"

Now, obviously some people will still feel the need to give and will want to buy a present. And that is fine. But a bride or groom should never make people feel as if they need to bring a gift or talk bad about someone who did not give a wedding gift for a destination wedding. Bride's and Groom's should always remember that their wedding is about sharing something spiritual and beautiful with friends and family- it does not have anything to do with gifts or money!

Any gift you get is a plus to an already wonderful event!

I have a question about welcome bags at destination weddings. Is it necessary to give this to your out-of-town guests? I don’t mean to sound cheap, but isn’t the point that the guests should be providing the bride and groom with the gifts (and not the other way around?) I’m not made of money here...After $100/plate for dinner, I find it hard to afford all these fantastic “goodies” for my out of town guests. I feel like I have done enough.


Dear Rebecca,

No, you do not sound cheap at all- you sound ungrateful and spoiled.

The welcome gift bag is a thank you to your guests. Please do not forget that your guests are likely shelling out $1,000-$3,500+ to be at YOUR wedding. They did not ask for you to spend $100 a plate or anything else. They have requested time off of work, used up vacation days, spent hours in the car or on long flights, and spent a lot of their money and time to be at your wedding because they knew it was important to you.

The least you can do is show them that you are appreciative of their time, money and consideration. No, you do not have to provide welcome gifts and if you do, you do not need to make them expensive. But your attitude that your guest owe you gifts is quite alarming. Do yourself a favor, watch an episode of Bridezilla's and then realize that you are acting just like them. Then go out and thank your guests for the time, money and energy they put into being with you on your special day.

Updates from the show!


We have had a lot of really positive feedback from the segment on the Rachael Ray show. A few things that I definitely want to clear up.

First off, we are not simple Proposal Planners.  We create and plan unique experiences and events, and they are for all kinds of occasions; be it anniversary, birthday, wedding, conference/meeting, product launch, etc.

We started this company in an effort to give people highly creative experiences that produced the feeling of being in a film, dream, fantasy... you name it. Ever wanted to feel like James Bond for a day? We wanted to make that happen. Want to relive the 1980's by putting yourself as the main character in a Hughes film? We wanted to make that happen too. And we did. We interviewed clients, found out what their partners dreams were and then wove it into a highly creative script. This script placed them in the middle of their own personalized film. But it was live.

Eventually, a few clients expressed a desire to not only experience our events but to use it as a platform to propose. While participating in a once-in-a-lifetime event, they would ask a once-in-a-lifetime question?

The media quickly grabbed on to this concept. People proposing during one our events? Sounds like a great story. At first I was flattered by the media attention. Who wouldn't be? But eventually I saw how they used me and my clients to further their own articles and agendas. Stories were being twisted, exaggerated and articles were focusing on the cost of "proposals" instead of reporting on the work that we do.

I find it interesting when angry people blog and talk about how terrible it is that event companies exist to assist people in special and romantic moments of their life. They think it is terrible that people pay for experiences, be it renting a dream exotic car, arranging a scavenger hunt, flying to Vegas or hiring a limousine. Do these same people have a problem with throwing a birthday party at a club for a friend or partner? Well, why not? Don't you pay a club money for the alcohol, private room or bottle service? Does that mean that you are less creative because you paid a venue to host a birthday party for you?

Would these people be angry if someone flew to Hawaii for a wedding, birthday, a marriage proposal or for a romantic getaway? Would they be mad if someone went out to a nice restaurant to celebrate an anniversary? Well, they should be! According to them, spending money on a romantic occasion makes you completely insincere.

Would these same people be mad if their partner bought them a piece of jewelry for a meaningful occasion? Does it make their partner less creative or insincere for spending hundreds, if not thousands of dollars on a material object? I mean, the guy didn't actually "make" the diamond or find it in the mine. He simply went into a store and bought it. At least during our events, clients are using elements of their own life to create something unbelievably personal and moving.

Some of these people claim that people must be lazy if they hire someone to assist in creating a romantic atmosphere. Does it make someone lazy if they took you out to your favorite restaurant for your birthday? I mean, the man did not actually prepare the dinner did he? He simply sat down, enjoyed it and paid for it.

The funny thing is that my clients are some of the most creative, fun, romantic and genuine people I have met. They appreciate collaborating with an "outsider." They love brainstorming with us to create something unbelievably fun, imaginative yet meaningful. Some clients have surprised their friends and significant others many times over the years and are now trying to top themselves this time around! They appreciate that my firm exists to handle the time consuming details, that we have worked for years to build our connections with vendors and that we work endless hours to make sure they are happy.

I started this company to give people special moments that were more meaningful than the diamond necklace. We help people create something so personalized, detailed, loving and fun that recipients have literally told me it was the single greatest day of their life.

Thanks to everyone for your support!

Rachael Ray Show today...




Go Get It Events was featured on the Rachael Ray show today. They did a segment on proposals and since many of our clients turn our experiences into proposals, they asked us to be the featured guest! I hope to have it on the site soon. Did you enjoy?





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